Sunday, November 16, 2008

Weekend fun!

Our weekend filled with laughter and saddness all rolled into two days! I am always amazed at how fast the weekend flies by and also at how much we squeeze into those two days. Friday night I went to my mom's house to make sure that she was okay. I am convinced that she is just fine just a little freaked out because she did not have a fix while my dad was home. I think that she was really ready for him to leave so that she could tear the house apart looking for more pills. I also just do not think that she is ever going to get better. That is very sad. My mom could very well not be here for my girls to graduate high school and that is so sad. Both her and my dad have always been a huge part of my families life. No matter what was going on I always made sure that I called her just about everyday and I always made sure that my girls spent plenty of time with her. Now I only call to make sure that she woke up that day. She cannot carry on a conversation that is worth making the effort to have so I usually just spend about a minute or two on the phone with her. Man that sounds so mean but literally that is how it feels. I did not hear from her on Sunday and around 12 noon I thought that I better call to make sure that she answers the phone. All I could think of is what if she is dead and no one knows it. I hate that feeling but I feel that any day she just may not be here. I am not sure if the rest of my family feels that way but I know I do. I hate it. I feel like I am too young to have to babysit my mom. This is something that I thought I would have to do after my children were in college or starting families of their own. But here I sit with the burden of making sure that my mom just eats something and does not just drink a shake. She seems to be determined that is all the food that she needs. She is never going to get better! She does not want to do what it takes to do so. She only takes her medicine correctly after we catch her taking it all wrong. She is still taking pills that she should not and I know that is just out of my hands. No one can make her stop killing herself. She cries to my dad that she does not want to die but yet continues on doing the things that are going to kill her. I now know that all I can do is live my life and take car of my family. She is an adult and can make her own decisions. We as her family have to either live with those decisions and take her as she is or withdraw ourselves from the situation. I do not hold a lick of hope that she is going to get or stay clean and I am never going to set myself up for disappointment again. Why should I when I have a family of my own that needs me.

Anyway, after leaving her house I picked up Samantha's friend Isela and took her to our house to stay the night. The girls had a lot of fun. Isela stayed all weekend. I will post some videos that they made outside on the trampoline. Viewer beware they might cause motion sickness! They also took some great pictures. Sunday was Mike's birthday so we went his mother's house which is always great fun. I am glad to have at least a normal mother-in-law. I am also glad that she stepped up in being there more for the girls when my mom stopped being able to have the girls over at her house. Below are videos and pictures. Enjoy!


Sherry Caffey said...

Hey the videos didn't come through. As for your post, I am sad to say that I might have to agree. I don't know about not letting myself be disappointed again because yesterday was so very hard after I went over and visited with her :( She wasn't anywhere close to "normal" Saturday and Sunday I was so hopeful and excited, Monday crushed. I still don't know how to detatch.

Williams Family said...

hey moma love your thing how you have pics of me and isela on there